Why couples can’t afford your wedding service
What do couples really mean when they say they can't afford your services?
They're telling you directly that they don't believe the problems you solve, the experience you're providing, and the product you're selling is worth that much. Your value as they see it does not match up to the dollar amount in your proposal.
This isn't a 'them' problem, it's a ~you~ problem. You're not entitled to your dream clients’ time or money, I don’t care how talented you are, or how many years you’ve been working weddings.
From the couple’s perspective, the pain of spending money on you outweighs the problems you could solve for them. It’s not worth it, and they quite literally cannot afford you. They aren’t lying!
Their hesitation, objections, and eventual ‘no’ can feel like something’s wrong with you, and be a huge hit to your (already shaky) confidence. Because for you, weddings are personal, and when couples reject your offering, they are basically rejecting you, as a human. That shit hurts!
And it’s sooooo nice to feel totally blameless when you aren’t winning. Then at least it’s not your fault, right?
“It’s the couples!! They’re the problem! I am PERFECT and do not need to change anything. This is peak me! I will never grow ever again!” - Every sensitive, misunderstood wedding pro when they get rejected. Including me.
Accountability is a foreign concept to some of us lolll
Here's what *not* to do when you're hearing that money is the reason you aren't being chosen:
Lower your rate all together, or offer desperate last-ditch discounts after being told no
Remove crucial elements of your offer to accommodate their budget (ie: hours of time, essential pre-wedding prep work, gear, rounds of edits, or anything that means you’re not showing up in full and compromising your value)
Blame the couples for being ‘cheap’ or not ‘getting it’ (see above! my favorite self care activity tbh)
Vent about it on social media in any way, shape or form…please do NOT DO THIS!
Quit your business entirely because obviously you suck
…So what should you do?
Assuming you have a dope service and/or quality product that you believe in and are passionate about: When you get rejected due to finances, their strict budget, or anything having to do with your rate and the cost of your services, it’s a sign that you are struggling to articulate your value.
A common belief my coaching clients share is that having a pretty website, a ‘see attached’ pricing PDF in your brand colors, and a social media schedule centered around portfolio pics set to trending audio should be enough to ‘sell’ couples on their services.
But the truth? That is the bare fucking minimum. It is not up to couples to understand why you’re charging what you charge. It’s up to you. This isn’t 2021 y’all!
We’re heading into a new normal next season. One where couples are still having weddings, yes, but when faced with both unlimited choices and a limited budget line, they are (rightfully) being very picky about who they choose to work with.
So: Why should they choose you?
Seriously lol…why???
…Because you have a website? Lollll okay.
…Because that website has a huge, off brand badge saying some corporation ‘approved’ of you (for a fee loll)? Hm.
…Because you share your ~swoon worthy~ portfolio on Instagram once a week? Neat.
You’d never actually answer that question to a couples’ face with those reasons, so why should that be enough?
Every time you get a ‘no,’ from a couple who inquired with you–whether or not you had a consultation!--and they come back saying that money is the issue, that doesn’t mean your services aren’t worth your price. It means there are some gaps in your messaging, and that you should do something to close them.
Here’s a hot take for you: Investing in wedding anything (planning, photography, makeup, attire, dinner, videographer, etc. etc. etc.) is a purchase based on emotion. I will die on that hill.
Couples are not buying day of coordination, photos, eyeshadow, a dress, a cheese plate, or a video. And you’d never dilute the experience of working with you to an itemized list of the ‘stuff’ you sell.
What’s really happening is that couples are committing to peace of mind, memories, feeling their best, and making their most treasured people feel taken care of. That shit is priceless! What you DO for their wedding…is literally priceless. So why is price always the reason that they hire someone else?
Because they will hire someone.
Couples are desperately searching for the right person to solve their problems. They are seeking to start a long term relationship with a professional in preparation for one of the biggest days in life; A relationship built on trust, mutual understanding of expectations, and artistry.
So again, I’m asking you: Why should that someone be you????
Articulating your value is challenging to do on your own. It goes against the very ingrained belief that we (...women, mostly lol) are to stay humble, not speak, and dim our lights to keep everyone else comfortable at our own expense. We’re told to sit quietly, and wait for someone to save us, or get permission from the powers that be.
We’ve probably lost friends, became unnecessarily exposed, or have been punished by someone when speaking out in the past. I sure as fuck have.
Maybe we benefit in other ways by pretending to be basic and void of a single opinion. Maybe we find comfort in masking our true values and feelings, and staying unbothered by a lack of bookings. Maybe we believe we deserve to fail. Maybe we are safer in the mediocre.
Maybe working out loud in order to be successful is embarrassing in some way. God forbid everyone knows how much you care about your OWN WEDDING BUSINESS, right?!?
Guess what: No one is coming to save you. Not even me!
Spending your money on online ‘one size fits all’ courses, or a listing on monetized platforms pretending to have the ‘key’ to getting you booked can feel soooo good. Those quick fixes are relying on your fear of failure and need for external approval to stay relevant. They’ll make you believe with your full heart that the only way to be a real, live, wedding pro, is to get their blessing for a small fortune.
But that dynamic is a business transaction. They aren’t the key to getting booked. They aren’t your savior.
You are.
You will keep getting told no–and the reason will keep being money!--until you first believe you have value, and are then brave enough to articulate it to the entire world. That is the only way that your dream clients will find you.
Let me say that again: In order to get a hell yes, you have to first believe you’re worthy of a hell yes, and then be confident enough to shout why on your website, your social media, over coffee with potential clients, IRL at networking events, and to every damn person you meet. Back your shit up. For real.
Once you do that, you’ll be speaking directly to the couples who share your values, and the rest won’t bother filling out your inquiry form. It’s a win-win.
If all this sounds really hard, and overwhelming to do on your own, and scary as fuck…I agree!
You could absolutely pay all of the wedding indu$try publication$ to explain why couple$ should hire you on your behalf. They know you really well, right?
You could panic purchase a self-led course on ‘articulating your value’ with fill in the blank worksheets to distract yourself on New Year’s Eve. Mad-libbing your values sounds super effective.
But if you’re ready to do this the real way, with the support of a real person who will be a fierce advocate of ‘future you,’ you need a business coach.
And not just any business coach fresh off the Google search, or one who yaps a LOT about how great they are, but has no tangible proof that they understand and have lived through your specific experience.
You hire the one who has been through this many, many times…Still is actually!
One who has literally received these rejection emails, and feels hurt all over again reading them.
One who has said, “Well fuck them!! I didn’t want that wedding anyway,” like 100 times.
What these budget-related rejections told me was that my planning company’s price and service was not matching up to what couples expected we would do—and for how much. Especially when they were only scrolling my website—Many of those folks came back assuming we sent them a partial or full scale package by mistake…not good!
I wasn’t articulating my value.
By educating them on…
What ‘day of’ wedding coordination truly is (MUCH MORE THAN A SINGLE DAY OMFG)
How my company will help them have the best wedding ever by being way more inclusive than your average day of coordinator
Why having a team of coordinators is more beneficial for their wedding vs. a one woman show (again, for OUR ideal couples. No hate to the solo coordinators out there, y’all are beasts.)
Then…
Pointing out that no matter what, someone will have to do these tasks on their wedding day…and who will that be? Them? Their friends or family? A brand new bride-turned-planner who has no clue what they’re doing???
Give them a link to our 100 Google reviews to back our shit up
Maintain a consistent presence online and a killer local reputation
And then…
Confidently explain why they should hire us and no one else(!!)
By doing the above things again, and again, and again…Couples will start to realize I’m actually undercharging lmfao.
JKKKKK…they will start to see my value through my messaging. And I’ll get a hell yes. Every time.
When you start your coaching plan with me, something will shift. Instead of selling, you’ll start storytelling.
Your story, and the value behind it, is one only you can unlock. We’ll sift through it all together, and soon a path will reveal itself. And then we will take it. And that’s when the ~hell yes~ folks start coming at you in every direction.
If you want to start this adventure on your own, I support that! Below are ten real questions and prompts I use with my wedding pro clients to jumpstart your process:
Why are you doing this? Literally: Why did you start this wedding business, and continue to stay in it?
What do you do for couples outside of your deliverables that aren’t listed in your contract?
How do those things add value and set you apart from everyone else?
Why is your service or product a must have, and not a 'would like to have' for couples getting married?
What is the story of working with you? Walk me through the entire process from start to finish.
What will couples miss or regret if they don't hire you?
How do you connect with your dream couples on a human level, outside of their WeDdiNg ViSioN?
Why should anyone care about your wedding business?
If your wedding business had a theme song, what would it be?
Re-read your favorite review of all time. Why is that review specifically your favorite? What parts do you feel seen in, and why?
Your answers here are just the tip of the iceberg. Re-read them, and use them as a nudge to craft your messaging into the new year. And then…charge more. <3
Curious about what a custom coaching plan would look like for you?
Let’s uncover your value, become confident in sharing it, and get you all of the HELL YES couples!